Dearest reader,
This author couldn’t bear to wait one minute more to share with you the most curious of news. It has come to my attention that our beloved Theatre Department here at Hoover has something to hide. It is with this discovery that I write to you today to grace you with the latest scandal in our society and drag these secrets from the depths where they hide. Following a successful and profitable season, the theatre department has faced quite an accusation, with Scholar Alejandro Curet speaking out about what really happens behind the curtain.
“We would never deign to use the word ‘cult;’ we much prefer to describe ourselves as a big happy family,” Scholar Curet said.
Lady Morgan Brown, head coordinator of the Hoover Theatre department, has spoken out against such intolerable allegations.
“The theatre department is not a cult,” she said.
What a striking quote. She was very quick to defend her esteemed organization from such slander. Carefully observing how Lady Brown goes about society with such grace and dignity, one would never have suspected such a scandal to arise.
For those of you who are not familiar with the sort of activities and rituals a cult partakes in, traditionally it is a group with strong interest in a person that devotes themselves to said group.
“While yes in theatre, they all listen to what I say 100% of the time, it is not a cult,” Lady Brown said.
Fascinating.
Aside from strong heading the theatrical performances of our society, Lady Brown also instructs students in the art of Theatre every day during specific times.
“Okay so yes, those students DO listen to what I say, but they’re merely scholars eager to learn, not devotees,” Brown said.
She raises a good defense to these accusations.
“Our chants before shows are merely fun and our way of welcoming our new members to the group, which is not a cult,” Lady Brown said.
Interesting, it appears there may be some darker secrets hidden in the depths of the theater department that had previously gone unnoticed. So, as your truthful and trustworthy writer, I went to the way backs of Hoover Hall to find a rather interesting and concerning discovery.
To my surprise, and perhaps yours as well, I discovered what appeared to be a shrine to Jeremy Jordan and Jordan Fisher, two very highly esteemed and well respected gentlemen on the greatest parts of Broadway.
“I had no clue this was going on backstage,” Lady Brown said.
Whether she tells the truth or not, we may never know. When asked about the activities that take place in between the Saturday matinee and evening performance, Lady Brown refused to give more details. Fortunately for you, the reader, Curet was more than willing to spill the secrets.
“My favorite tradition of ours is when one of us reads a book to the group after which we all lay down to rest,” Curet said.
Next to sacrifices this is probably the most cult-like behavior one could observe, however Lady Brown still denies such allegations. My focus was captivated by what else these scholars get up to in between performances.
“Besides our “nap time” tradition, we also initiate a freshman who we believe to be the “most devoted” to our group,” Curet said.
“If we were a cult we would have regular meetings, costumes, a space dedicated to our practice and a set of expectations for each new member,” Lady Brown said.
But do they not have these things? It appears to me that the Theatre Department here at Hoover has been practicing in some rather concerning activities. To their credit they do seem to have a wonderful program that produces excellent shows and entertainment for society, but at what cost?
“I’ve dedicated nearly four years of my life to this department and hope to recruit others to join the wonder that is theatre” Curet said. “Dressing up, singing songs, pretending to be someone else and dancing are things every person should enjoy.”
Taking a close look at the Theatre program has this writer quite concerned as to what other parts of society have this sort of behaviour.
“If you’re looking for cult-like activity, promenade down ‘A’ Hallway where the newspaper scholars have regular dance parties in the classroom,” Lady Brown said. “Or sit in the stands and watch the scholars run around a track over again wearing matching uniforms.”
She poses a wonderful observation of what I believe most of us anticipated, that there lies a deeper seated conspiracy dispersed throughout. Fear not! For I will not rest until every locker has been unlocked, every dressing room searched and no secret left untouched. For what lies in the dark often has fangs, and it takes someone just as ruthless to bring it to light. Whether these accusations are proven to be true or not, we may never know, but only time will tell.
“If you ever hear chants echoing through the hallways on performance night, it’s just your imagination run wild,” Lady Brown says.
Yours truly,
Lady Larkethorne
