Mr. O is Secretly Gordon Ramsey?

Fiction

Madison Rice, Editor-In-Chief

Have you ever stared into the soul of Gordon Ramsay?
No?
Well, you’re wrong.
Our very own Culinary Arts teacher, Mr. Phil Ogilvie is, in fact, Gordon Ramsay. From the cold and empty stares to the fear of God he instills in those whom he encounters, how could he not be who is known as the most cynical chef to have ever existed?
Without a doubt, the secret he hides and keeps most precious to him is that of his true identity. We’ve all seen the ominous way he stalks about the hallways, and the purposeful stride to his step, one that can only be attributed to that of an undercover celebrity chef.
How does one explain the baldness? Culinary Arts II student, junior Makayla Bower comments on the topic and provides insight into what is really going on.
“Oh it’s definitely a bald cap,” she said. “You can see the makeup he uses to make it seem like his skin tone.”
In an interview conducted under the pretense of highlighting the suspect, if you could even call such a concrete observation suspicion, Mr. O himself revealed quite groundbreaking information. When asked directly if he was in fact the successful chef, Ogilvie’s response was shifty as he had something to hide.
“Yes…no…sometimes,” he said.
If this isn’t evidence enough that Mr. O isn’t who we thought he was, then I don’t know what is. To prove further the irrefutable evidence provided, Ramsay and Ogilvie haven’t ever even been seen in the same room together!
“I have not seen Mr. O and Gordon Ramsay in the same room,” Bower said. “I don’t think they’ve even had a phone call together.”
Weird, right?
That’s what I thought.
It’s as if Ogilvie and Ramsay’s relationship doesn’t even exist, but if you’re asking me, I think that is the perfect cover-up…but maybe not cover-up enough.
Secrets never stay secrets for long, just as worldwide celebrities can’t hide from the media. Ramsay himself uses social media as a platform and can be frequently observed dancing on his Tik Tok account. As it is a solid fact that Ogilvie and Ramsay are one, it can only be assumed that Mr. O partakes in the act of dancing just the same.
All in all, Mr. O is Gordon Ramsay. The fact most of Hoover High School can hear him judging a culinary competition is the icing on the cake, so to speak.
I said what I said. End of story. Fin.